


A Matter Of Habit

by PaleNoFace



Series: Smeet Army AU [4]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: "fuck your problems away and then go hug your children", Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Annoying Zim (Invader Zim), Canon-Typical Violence, Dib is So Done (Invader Zim), Domestic Violence, Established Relationship, Family Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Parent Dib (Invader Zim), Parent Zim (Invader Zim), Sibling Bonding, Tall Zim (Invader Zim), artie knows what his parents are up to and he's not impressed, flying burritos, gus is baby and oblivious, listen they wouldn't be themselves if they didn't fight every now and then, noods be like : worried raptor noises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23822833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaleNoFace/pseuds/PaleNoFace
Summary: Gus watches his parents hurl one another around the living room with only the vaguest interest. They're throwing insults and trying to stab each other, and while it's not a normal occurrence, it's common enough that he doesn't feel all that worried.He frowns when the two of them roll in front of the TV, exchanging punches strong enough that he can hear bones breaking from the couch."You're hiding the screen !" he shouts, and next to him Artie echoes the sentiment between two sips of soda.
Relationships: Dib (Invader Zim) & Original Character(s), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), Zim (Invader Zim) & Original Character(s)
Series: Smeet Army AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658659
Comments: 10
Kudos: 110





	A Matter Of Habit

Gus watches his parents hurl one another around the living room with only the vaguest interest. They're throwing insults and trying to stab each-other, and while it's not a normal occurrence, it's common enough that he doesn't feel all that worried.

He frowns when the two of them roll in front of the TV, exchanging punches strong enough that he can hear bones breaking from the couch.

"You're hiding the screen !" he shouts, and next to him Artie echoes the sentiment between two sips of soda. Noods lets out a concerned yip, but doesn't move from her favorite spot up the backrest, GIR secured in her death grip.

Dib-Father finally untangles himself from the PAK legs holding him down and kicks up, _hard_ , sending Zim-Father fly into the kitchen shrieking, a good portion of the doorway going with him with a worrying crack. Artie rolls his eyes and slurps his drink more loudly. Gus grabs the remote and raises the sound bar way over the authorized limit, but the adults are too busy demolishing each-other -and the kitchen- to notice.

"What do you think happened this time ?" Artie asks, eyes still fixated on the newest episode of Floopsy Bloop Shmoopsy.

"How would I know ?" Gus grumbles, curling up against Noods' warm side when she climbs down to settle between them.

GIR starts singing the series' theme, and Artie leans over to take the remote and raises the sound of the TV a few notches more. Noods clicks and chirps softly, eyes still waringly trained on the two figures shouting and fighting in the next room. Gus elbows her, not unkindly.

"They'll be fine, Noodle. Zim-Father probably said something irritating enough for Dib-Father to lose all common sense again."

At the other end of the couch, his brother nods in agreement. A chair flies above their heads and crashes through one of the windows, but only GIR seems to notice, commenting the trajectory with a soft _ooooooh_. There's the distinctive sound of the fridge's door squeaking open, then Dib yells something as he and Zim tumble down the elevator shaft and the fighting noises finally die down. Artie lowers the TV's volume.

"Thank Irk," he sighs, and settles back between the cushions.

Noods makes a confused raptor noise, but relaxes as well, freakishly long legs splayed across the couch. Under her arm, Gus nestles, his PAK clicking frantically to adapt to her higher body temperature. GIR is still chanting loudly, but goes mostly ignored.

"Well, I want a snack," Artie declares after half an episode, and jumps on his feet. "Anyone needs anything ?"

"I want a soda," Gus says at the same time Noods gargles incomprehensibly and makes a wrapping motion with her hands.

"I WANT TO EAT THE SILVERWARE," GIR screams.

"A soda and a burrito, got it," Artie hums as he picks up the little robot from his sister's lap.

He disappears into the kitchen, and soon the sweet song of cupboards opening and closing, as well as something that suspiciously sounds like a fork stuck in a garbage disposal, fill the background. Noods clicks and grunts under her breath, so Gus elbows her again.

"You're not actually worried about them, are you ?" he asks her, and when she looks down at him with confused red eyes, he groans and drops his head on her shoulder.

"They are idiots. They'll be fine. They're gonna yell a bunch and then... and then... Hm. I don't know, actually. Look-- Computer, what are Zim-Father and Dib-Father up to ?"

There's an awkward silence, followed by a cough.

" **I refuse to answer this question unless I am forced to.** "

Gus makes a mental note to hack into the AI one of these days, but Artie laughs from the kitchen and comments, "Gross," so he lets it slide for this time. If Artie knows and doesn't sound surprised, it's good enough for Gus.

Noods grumbles some more, but her face relaxes, so she's probably good for now too. She suddenly throws an arm up, just in time to catch the flying burrito directed at her head, then starts chewing on it like flying burritos are the most normal thing in the world.

Actually, maybe they are, considering it's getting more and more frequent.

"Ten points for Artichoke," Gus admits with a defeated sigh, and the Computer makes a beep-boop noise in acknowledgement, adding ten points to the scoreboard in the corner of the room.

" _Yesss_ ," Artie pumps a victorious fist in the air as he comes back to sit with them with a bag of curly fries, handing his brother the requested soda and then helping GIR back on the couch. The latter still had a fork clanking around in his open head.

By the time the last episode ends, Noods has completely demolished her burrito, Artie is distractedly cleaning the joint of one of his PAK legs and Gus is wondering how sneaky he has to be to put on the latest episode of Mysterious Mysteries.

There's a swooshing noise, and the smeets instinctively braces themselves as the couch lifts, allowing the missing adults to step out of the platform.

After inspection, Gus decides that they both look a little less messy than what he expected : Dib-Father is sporting a black eye and patches of healing slime all around the base of his neck, and Zim-Father is walking a little weird, but they're clean, holding hands and apparently okay with the concept of co-existence.

"How nice of you to remember we exist," he drawls sarcastically, and earns a nasty glare from the older Irken.

"Silence, larva-child," Zim growls, lifting him and Noods from the couch to lie down, then hugs the children close. Gus lets it happen with minimal protest and curls up right under his father's chin, sighing contently. Noods doesn't peel her eyes from the screen but makes herself confortable in the crook of the arm holding her. Dib stretches for a minute before taking Artie in his own arms and sitting down, dragging his mate's legs across his lap. GIR has long since disappeared through the couch's cushions.

"What are we watching ?" Dib asks, voice a little rough -probably from all the screaming, if Gus had to guess.

"They're airing new episodes of Mysterious Mysteries," he replies almost innocently, and earns three defeated groans. "What ?! It's a good show !" he squeaks, and Dib leans sideways to pat him between the antennae.

"Yeah it is," Dib says. "They're just heathens who don't know what's good."

"Just pick something to watch and _shut up_ ," Zim says impatiently in Irken, seemingly too tired to switch to English. Dib tries to hide a satisfied grin and fails miserably. Artie rolls his eyes and makes a disgusted face. Gus sniggers. Noods lifts her head, looking back and forth between her family members, and squawks once. Zim chuckles and kisses her on the cheek.

"Sure, bean."

The two boys immediately let out the same outraged scream of indignation.

"No !" Gus shouts petulantly, shaking his little fists in the air.

"Urgh, _noooo_ ," Artie whines and hides his face in Dib's shoulder.

"Guys, come on," Dib sighs. "Let her have it."

"Da !" Artie protests, outraged, and looks up at him. "We're not watching Karate Kid _again._ "

The two adults exchange a look. Zim arches a non-existant eyebrow. Dib shrugs.

"Computer, put on Karate Kid."

Gus' muffled scream of frustration is drowned by the beginning of the movie. Artie glares at his sister, but only earns a big goofy grin from her.

_Oh, that bastard._

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos !


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